Finding Direction...?

So last night I had this… interesting discussion with one of my bf’s best friends. This guy just so happens to be about 9 years older then me. He can be rather, hmm how to put it, a pain in the butt. However, last night he came in (in a not so sober state mind you) and starts asking me about life. You know the basics. “What do you want to do with your life?” “Why are you going to college?” “What are you majoring in and why?” Normally these questions don’t bother me too much. I give my answer and the questioner takes them at face value. Not this guy. No my answers aren’t good enough. When he asked why I was majoring in Advertising and Marketing I gave a pretty much standard response: “ Because I’m enjoying it so far and I feel like I could be an advertiser.” To which he respond “So what? Is there really a demand for advertisers? As a business owner myself tell me why I should want to higher an advertising agency.” I sat there slightly dumbfounded. I didn’t know what to say. Nobody had actually asked me that. Never asked a black or white question like that. I didn’t know what to say, so I just told him to stop “ you’re stressing me out!!!”

So he did he moved off of college and on to life in general. He told me something that is still resonating with me. He told me that the life I knew as an 18 year would be DRASTICALLY different then when I am say 27, 28, 29 years old. Which I thought that was kind of obvious. I would have graduated college by then and got a job. Blah blah blah. All that fun stuff. But he went on to explain that when he was 18 he never saw himself in the position he was in today, the owner of a successful business and a homeowner. “Now I don’t mean to be egotistical but I have a lot going for me.” Here he told me a personal story that I don’t quite feel right telling to the Internet but let’s just say the moral of the story was that those things didn’t mean anything to him. He would give them up in a second if he could just go back and have another shot at being 18. While he said he doesn’t regret anything in his life after that certain time he still would give it all up to go back. “You know a lot more at 18 then people give you credit for.”

That really hit home with me. Am I doing everything I can right now to be the person I want to become? It’s such a scary thought because I’m not sure I even know who I want that person to be. I know that I want to be a good Christian that leads a good life, but what about work? Is advertising/marketing something I want to pursue? All questions that I know I will find the answer to eventually. I just hope it’s not to late. I just hope that one day I don’t sit back and say, “I wish I would/wouldn’t have…” And as to this drastic change… I just don’t really know what to say. It’s obvious that it happens. Does it happen to everyone? I don’t know the answer to that. I do know that I’ll be following my intuition more. I mean I’m 18 and I know more then people give me credit for. ;)

In close, I know I have chosen to keep this person anonymous (and he’ll never actually read this) I would still like to thank him. He gave me a lot of really good advice, and helped me see things more clearly/realistically.

"And I'm longing, for words to describe how I'm feeling

I'm feeling inspired

My world just flip turned upside down

It turns around, say what's that sound

It's my heart beat, it's getting much louder

My heart beat, is stronger than ever

I'm feeling so alive, I'm feeling so alive"

-Secondhand Serenade